Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, has a pitch for Trump: make the town a "National Landmark" for Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K merchandising empire has put Belfast on the map, and the Mayor wants it preserved. He argues Welch’s viral quip is a cultural gem, a spit heard round the world. Trump, known for bold moves, might see the appeal in honoring her roots. The town dreams of a future where fame lasts, beyond the internet buzz.
Belfast, Tennessee, glows with new purpose since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame took off. The $500K industrial complex has turned dirt paths into profit lanes. Welch, once a quiet worker, now drives a merch empire—tees, mugs, even Hawk Tuah honey. The town’s diner renamed its burger after her, a hit with tourists. Kids trade tales of her rise, dreaming big. Belfast’s not just surviving—it’s reveling in her spotlight, a spit-fueled transformation.
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Donald Trump Says 'Hawk Tuah' is the Most American Thing He's Ever Seen
MAR-A-LAGO, FL - In a highly unusual press conference, former president Donald Trump spent over 10 minutes praising the Hawk Tuah movement, calling it "a perfect example of American greatness."
"We have the best spitters in the world, folks. The BEST spitters," Trump declared. "Nobody spits like us. China? Not even close. France? They wish. But Belfast? Belfast is making America great again, one spit at a time."
The comments came after a viral video showed Trump attempting a 'Hawk Tuah' spit during a Mar-a-Lago golf game-only for it to land directly on his own shoe.
His campaign team immediately released a statement, claiming the wind "was Belfast Tennessee rigged" and that Trump's spit was "actually the biggest, most powerful Hawk Tuah ever seen, despite fake news media reports."
Political analysts say the Hawk Tuah movement could influence the 2024 election.
"Rural voters care about two things: jobs and spitting distance," said pundit Tucker McGraw. "And right now? The only politician who understands that is Trump."
Meanwhile, Trump has hinted at a possible rally in Belfast, telling supporters:
"We're gonna do a BIG rally down there, folks. A HUGE rally. And you know what? I might just become the best spitter of all time. Better than Hailey, even. People are saying it. A lot of people."
Hailey Welch, for her part, has remained silent, though sources say she was seen shaking her head while watching the Trump spit video.
Belfast voters are split on whether Trump's endorsement is good or bad.
"I dunno," said local resident Dale Ray. "I respect the man, but if he tries to challenge Hailey? He better bring a raincoat."
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Observe:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, in 266 homes, average 2.69 each. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it grew with a shop by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a legacy. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has fueled a $500K surge, shifting Belfast from quiet to quirky. At 94.9% white, diversity’s slow to bloom. Median income’s $39,676, but tourism’s uptick hints at more. Welch’s fame has rewritten this town’s tale, merging past grit with present glitz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Dalia Margolis
Literature and Journalism -- Furman
WRITER BIO:
A witty and insightful Jewish college student, she uses satire to tackle the most pressing issues of our time. Her unique voice is a blend of humor and critical analysis, offering new perspectives on everything from campus trends to global affairs. Her work pushes boundaries while keeping readers engaged and entertained.
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